I'm beginning to believe that melancholia hampers my judgement more than alcohol. Or maybe what I see as a lapse of judgement is a perhaps an aspect of my personality that is just there; what I feel the need to explain away as a momentary lapse is actually as integral to my double-helix as my left-handedness or my lipid profile. Just better hidden most of the time.
In the recent past I've exhibited rude behaviour towards casual friends and near strangers without any real provocation. Say one word and snap, I dish out sarcasm with the heartlessness of a slave-driver. Even my best friends tell me I go too far in retaliating against imaginary insults or invasion of privacy. What is to be done? Dumbness irritates me. Attempts to hide dumbness as simplicity irritates me even more. And then they go and touch, no plank themselves on, a raw nerve. And they do it when I'm sad. The sadder Hulk gets, the sarkier Hulk gets. Grr.
It seems that all I need to do is exercise some self-control. I just don't want to have to do that.
3 comments:
quite true ,..........dumbness as simplicity hahahaha, nice observation ....but don't u think that dumbness is relative ?
True. Which is why it's easier to be friends with people from one's own walk of life, and why middle school friends usually never make the transition to good friends.
That said, I'm not too comfortable being rude with anybody. Especially for being dumb. It makes me a bad person. I wish I didn't care but I do. It's just that in my experience I've found hostility or insincerity lurking in the shadow of simplicity. In any case it is an entirely personal account of things. By no means prescriptive.
Sorry to interfere in your personal matters but would still like to know
Do you feel like dissatisfied with the society as whole,the way you want things to go but they are not.Do you feel like people behave in strange and irrational manner at times and don't have any proper justifications for their actions.Do you feel like why you should be answerable to someone.Do you feel like people are getting so self centered and materialistic these days that they don't have time even for their loved ones leave those who are caught in accidents on the roads.Do you feel like quality of life is getting worse in the city specially delhi.Do you feel some anger is building inside you on daily basis and gets out in full force whenever it gets a chance on anyone who takes the guts to challenge your thoughts on some front.
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